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Prayer - Part 2

We are a judgmental people.  From the first moments of our lives, we have been engaging in a process of decision-making or judging that will stay with us until we are reunited to our Lord.  As I write this article, first-thing in the morning, I am already deciding, based on many factors, what I would like to make for dinner tonight.  Then based upon how I perceive those factors that I am thinking about, I decide what to do.  We make decision; we judge.

But I wish that judgment was limited to the simple things like what I wish to wear and what I want to eat.  Sadly, we judge a great deal more than this.  From the person who cut us off in traffic, who may have had a legitimate reason for doing so, we judge them.  We assume they are bad people, inconsiderate people (and they may be, or maybe not).  We judge them all and as we do so we elevate ourselves above them.  In many ways we think that our holiness is greater than theirs.

This past weekend was the NFL draft, and as the picks came in, I judged the decisions the general managers and coaches made- as if I was a draft expert or talent evaluator who knew better than people who devote their lives to this task.  The point is we judge both good things and bad ones.  However, in prayer we should not necessarily suspend judgment making; we should judge all the more- but only judge ourselves.

A second aspect of prayer that I would like to teach you about is the prayer of examination or praying introspectively.  It is the prayer of judgment.  Do not confuse this with a ‘prayer of confession’ where we acknowledge our sin.  In this type of prayer I judge myself.  I examine myself, my actions, and my thoughts.  As I do so I also condemn myself.  I do not offer a blanket confession of sin, but I look deep into myself and I see the man I actually am.  I see how it offends God and, rather than make excuses, I stand before God openly and honestly.

I know God’s grace will cover me; I know I am forgiven.  But in this prayer I am not leaning upon that grace first.  I am, instead, becoming aware of what I have done to wound my Savior.  As we pray in this way, we examine who we have been and how our mind has shaped our behaviors to be faithful or unfaithful. 

This prayer produces in us the grace of self-knowledge.  Here, in this moment, I know how evil I have been, how depraved I choose to live.  In this moment, I do not hide from God what God already knows about me and neither do I glorify it.  I stand here before the Lord as who I am.  I offer no qualifiers; I just stand.

Our sins are laid before the altar not just as an offering for forgiveness, or the claiming of God’s grace, which is essential to our growth.  They are placed there to demonstrate to God that I truly know, as limited as it might be, how sinful I have chosen to be as I come to him.  And while God will forgive and restore me, in this prayer the focus is not upon my forgiveness.  No the focus is on God’ choice and my willingness to suspend judgment of other people in favor of judging myself.

This is a hard prayer to enter into.  But try it this week.  Do not simply say, “I have sinned Lord forgive me.”  But instead, honestly, show God who you are as you pray.  Show him the things you do that no one is aware of, but which you cannot live without.  Show him how serious you take your faith and the change that comes in Jesus Christ.  Then we can move in from there…

I do not know how long you will spend in this type of prayer, but let God dictate to you much time you devote to this part of prayer.


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